Now I would like to ask you about your feelings regarding your experience with leukaemia, Again I mean I think that other teenagers facing a similar situation may appreciate to know how other young persons have felt. Have you ever wondered, why me?
Yeah.
When was that?
When I first got diagnosed, why couldn't it have happened to somebody else and, mmm.
Ok.
I don't know why it happened and everything.
Have you ever pretended it isn't happening?
No, I just, I just got on with my life, I didn't let it hold me back from anything.
Have you ever felt angry?
No.
Or sad?
Sad aye. Used to cry in bed.
You felt depressed?
Yeah.
When was that?
One day I came back from the hospital, and it's just the same treatment and home again. I just went to bed, then I woke up and I was arguing with my dad and, just 'cos I was crabby and I wanted to take the bottle of morphine, I was drinking it from the bottle, my dad had to take it away.
I just says it'll go away now ok, and I was just drinking it wanting it to go away. But, it was stupid.
I said I'll get better, to myself. And just enjoy like, enjoy time the now just in case I die.
'Cos I was, all my teen life aye? And I thought I'd missed out on that, I says, “I'm not missing it?” So I just get on with it.
But have you felt that you have lost part of your teenage years?
Yeah, 'cos like they'd go to the pictures and I'd be too ill to go. To have a party and I wouldn't be able to go in case of infections and missed out.
So you were, you were restricted in what you could and couldn't do?
Yeah.
So you couldn't go to places where there were a lot of people in case you caught an infection?
Yeah.
Ok, what else couldn't you do?
Go swimming as well 'cos I had a Hickman line in and you weren't allow to get wet, would have been able to get infections and.
So for two years while your treatment lasted that you had to stay at home or in hospital?
Yeah. |