One of the things that was really bad from my point of view was the doctor told me that I would definitely on, on this particular regime of drugs, I would definitely lose my hair. I had blond hair right down to my bum, and I, it was really nice I really liked it, everyone else really liked it, everyone used to comment on it and it was, you know, it was my crowning glory really. So I was really, really upset about that and I remember thinking, 'cos some of the nurses were very nice you know, and they said, “Oh, maybe you know, you, you'll be better off shaving it off now.” And I thought to myself, [laughing] you must be joking, I'm going to keep it to the very last minute that I can and things like that.
It wasn't till after my second dose of chemotherapy that my hair began to fall out, and it did literally happen overnight. One day it was fine, and the next day it was coming out in handfuls. So what I did was I had it cut to a bob, but this only lasted a couple of days, and then it was, it was just, I had bald patches. And I remember my parents took me out for lunch and I was really embarrassed because I went into the toilet and I had like a black top on, and you could see where all my hair had fallen out down my back. So against all my previous thoughts I did actually shave my hair off to a grade 1 which was really, really horrendous and my Mum hid upstairs and my Dad and my, 'cos I've got a younger sister, and they, they did it. And were trying to make a bit of a joke out of it you know to make me feel better. And I tried my wig on for the first time which was sort of shoulder length blond number with a fringe. Which I thought at first, oh my God it makes me look really funny but luckily my sister who's really good at doing hair, unlike myself, managed to style the wig and actually put a little clip in it so it actually looked less like a wig, I thought. So I got, I got used to the, to the wig and I always wore it whenever I went out. When I got in the house I'd usually sort of take it off and just wear a scarf or something. One thing that I do remember being really weird is the first couple of nights without hair, I've never been so cold. I mean, this was in sort of like February time but my head was, I had to get under the covers completely to be able to go to sleep 'cos I was so cold. So my boyfriend bought me, a sort of a baby's fleecy hat that I used to wear in bed at night to keep my head warm which, which I've still got because it kind of reminds me of, of that time but at least I could sleep then. |