Experiences of young fathers
Like the young mums (see 'Experiences of young mothers'), many young dad's first child is unplanned, because of contraception problems (see 'Emergency contraception'), or not using contraception. A man who doesn't like wearing condoms described how difficulties finding suitable contraception had resulted in three unplanned babies so far .
Most men were pleased to hear they would be a father, although recognised it would be difficult and that they would need to adjust their lives .
After the experience of an unplanned child, some men discuss family planning with their partners . As one said 'I don't want a basketful of children'.
Many young dads have supportive friends and families. Family members can explain about child care and some offer financial support, even if they don't initially seem pleased a baby is on the way.
Men stress parenthood involves financial and social limitations. They are aware of their responsibilities and their children's needs have to come before their personal wishes .
Another said that it is important for him and his partner to go out with friends because bringing up a young family is hard. He said 'The key is to have time for yourself because if you don't you're going to be a nervous wreck and you're going to be deeply stressed and you know things won't really run right'.
Many men help out with housework and childcare. One man said that he regularly takes his children to a project run for young parents in his neighbourhood and to play in the park . Another said that he and his partner do not have a clear division of chores in the house but that he would do whatever needed to be done .
Young fathers' advice to others is 'to wear condoms' if they don't want to be a dad and to make sure that they have the necessary financial resources if they do. One said 'wait till you're definitely ready before having your first child'.
Last reviewed April 2010.
Last updated April 2010.