First sexual experience: concerns
People's stories about the first time they had sex are covered in 'First sexual experience: age and motivations'. This section talks about people's expectations and worries about having sex for the first time.
Both men and women worry about sexual performance, but guys are more concerned about 'doing it right', and girls are more worried about body image.
There is pressure from friends, to be sexually active and knowledgeable, and to brag about sex, so men find it hard to admit if they don't know much about sex . Most men worry about their performance the first time they have sex , although most girls don't feel this pressure .
Even though teenage girls are less likely to 'brag' about their sexual performance, other forms of competition took place - for example who knew more about sex, who has already done it, or having an older boyfriend.
As one woman explained: 'With my first boyfriend the most important thing was that he was older and he was good-looking and that I would have sex and then I'd be able to talk to about it with my friends. Sort of far more Brownie points if they were older'.
Girls may also lie about sex in order not too seem 'frigid' or inexperienced .
Like guys, most girls feel scared and nervous the first time they have sex . They're not under pressure to perform , but some still feel they should Body image is more of an issue for girls - one said she wouldn't eat for 8 hours before sex so that her tummy didn't look big.
Another girl told us 'you're supposed to be having sex like a film star all the time, like a porn star' Many found talking to their mates set their mind at rest.
Some young men and women felt you get more sexually confident the better you know someone, and some believed being with one partner rather than lots of different people helped.
Last reviewed April 2010.
Last updated April 2010.