You also told me that one day you felt frustrated and you started sort of punching a piece of wood or something like that?
I came back from the beach and I was about 32, and everyone started having a go at me and they were all going crazy, and I just ran upstairs, and I don't know - it was a little bit of wood, and I just started smashing everything and just went absolutely crazy, and no self control. And I was high as - I don't know - I was about 32 and they had to call the cops, and the copper came round, and I finally calmed down at that bit and he said, 'Have you been on drugs?' and I said, 'No, do I look like I was on drugs', I just couldn't be doing with the coppers, because I can't stand cops - and I couldn't be doing with a copper like telling me what to do, but I didn't want to say nothing. I couldn't be bothered to be banged up for a night, or nothing, so next - I finally got my sugar levels down. I took some insulin and had something to eat and finally calmed me down. But the next morning I was just - oh what the hell happened last night? I was like, I was like on a different planet. People would have thought I'd been on heroin or something. But your blood sugar peaks, they don't say your blood sugars change your mood, but they do if you want them to, I would say.
And so I kind of started - started sorting off getting my sugars back to normal and everything and doing more work at school and getting into things and just slowly getting back together and working for a good sugar level test and everything. Because that was my main priority - to get a good HbA1C. And I kind of got it in the range. I got it better than it was. I got to 8.6 and then I carried on getting it better and better I got an 8.2 and then it - I kind of forgot about it. But I wasn't going really high. I was taking my insulin and everything and but it's really hard to control I had another bad one, which was the worse one I've ever had - it was 9.5, but that month I wasn't really being stupid, or nothing. I was taking the right insulin in the right doses.
And how does it make you feel when you were doing everything right and you get a result that you didn't expect?
I - nah - didn't want to - I thought no I'm not making it miserable, I'm not going to be miserable because that's what it wants you to do. I didn't want to give in, I just thought, no, carry on. It must have been - you just got to keep working on it and it's your age - you've got to get - it's just your age which is the problem, really - your hormones and all that and sorting you out and I thought well it's not really - you've got to do the best you can do. Just keep going, don't give up. If you give up there's just no point.
So, this is the attitude you have, that you understand it's a sort of phase you're going through?
Yeah.
As a hard phase anyway?
Yeah.
Because you are a teenager?
Yeah. That's what I think. Since I've been a teenager I've never had these problems when I was a kid. It was quite mellow when I was a kid, and it was all right really. It's just these past two years that have been pretty…
Rough?
Yeah. But I thought through it all you've just got to keep going on. |